Where do Babies Come From?
by chiheerios
Summary: Scorpius asks his father where babies come from. Dramione. One-shot.


Draco loves 8 PM.

8 PM is his favorite time of the day, because that's when the manor, which was normally run by a toddling 3 year old Scorpius, was nice and quiet because Hermione would put Scorpius to bed. And of course, then Draco and Hermione would be permitted to have…fun.

However, on this particular day, Hermione had gone on a Girls' Day Out with Ginny and Luna. She wouldn't be home until 9, an hour past Scorpius' bedtime, therefore the obligation of putting Scorpius to bed fell on Draco's shoulders.

Draco trudges up the stairs to Scorpius' room, where the boy was sitting on his bed, waiting for his father.

"Did you brush your teeth, Scorp?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Really?"

Scorpius giggles and shuffles out of the room and Draco hears the tell-tale sound of water hitting the sink basin and the gentle scratch of toothbrush bristles against teeth. Draco inwardly grins. _Lying_, just one sign Scorpius would be a Slytherin instead of a Gryffindor like Hermione so champions for.

A few minutes later, Scorpius returns to his room and pounces on his bed.

"Ready for bed, Scorpius?"

Scorpius shakes his head.

"Bedtime story!"

Draco groans, _Of course, Hermione would read him a bedtime story_.

"Alright, buddy. Let's see what you have."

Draco walks over to his son's extensive collection of books and runs his hand over the spine, reading the titles.

_ Let's see…Cinderella, The Three Little Pigs, Merlin, doesn't Hermione read any magical children stories to our son? I'd even settle for bloody Babbity Rabbity._

Draco's search was fruitless, as it appeared only Muggle children books were in Scorpius' room. Eventually he settled on an abridged version of _Peter Pan._ He pulls the book from the shelf and tucks Scorpius into bed and pulls a chair up to the side of his bed.

"Has Mummy read you this book, Scorp?" Draco holds up the book.

Scorpius shakes his head, his platinum-blonde hair swishing slightly.

"No, Daddy. Read it to me!"

"Magic word?"

"Pleeeeeeease?"

Draco nods and Scorpius shimmies under his covers to get comfortable.

"Alright," Draco cracks the book open, "Everything changed in the Darling (_Darling? What kind of bloody last name was that?_) household after the arrival of Peter Pan."

Draco began reading the tale of young Peter and the Darling children. He was at the part where Peter tells Wendy that babies arrive in Neverland when they fall out of their prams when Scorpius becomes passive and turns to his father.

"Daddy, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, son."

"Where do babies come from?"

Draco pauses and stares blankly at his son.

_ Maybe my ears were just fooling me. There's no way Scorpius would ask that!_

"Daddy, answer me! Where do babies come from?" Scorpius whines

_ Crap! He did ask that!_

Draco clears his throat.

"Uh…that's a secret, Scorpius."

Scorpius doesn't like that answer and he pouts and trashes in his bed a little bit before pouting.

"Tell me, Daddy, please!"

"Oh…" Draco can't resist seeing his son looking so despondent, "alright, fine!

Immediately, Scorpius' face lights up and he grins.

"Yay!"

Draco leans forward as if telling Scorpius a secret.

"Babies come from…" Draco really hadn't thought this far ahead when he said he'd tell his son. "Babies come from…the Sorting Hat. Yeah, the Sorting Hat!"

Scorpius' eyes widen, but then he crinkles his nose.

"What's that? How does a baby come from a hat?"

"Well, you see Scorpius, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much, they visit the Sorting Hat and ask for a baby. The mummy and daddy then put the hat on, and the hat finds the perfect baby for them."

Draco holds back a gag. This lie to Scorpius was a huge crock of crap, even for a Slytherin to spew.

"Oh, and the hat sorted me to you and Mummy?" Scorpius asks

"Yes, that's right." Draco says, wanting to put this subject to rest. "Now, let's finish the story."

Draco continues reading _Peter Pan_, until Scorpius falls asleep. When he finally does, he gently closes the book and turns out the light, before he shuts the door to his son's room softly. Draco had to admit, he found the story of Peter Pan rather interesting.

He decides to go downstairs to wait for Hermione, and it's not long before she comes home. She walks in and drops her bags next to the door to sort through tomorrow and greets Draco a chaste kiss.

"I missed you." she murmurs, "How was putting Scorpius to bed."

"It was…good. I read him Peter Pan. It was a pretty good story…well for a Muggle story anyway."

Hermione rolls her eyes and pulls back from him.

"Let's go to bed. I'm tired"

She walks toward the staircase to the upper level and he follows her, and it's not long before the couple, exhausted, fall into a deep sleep.

Breakfast is a conundrum the next morning as the family sits down to eat breakfast. As Draco takes a bite of toast, he hears Scorpius' voice.

"Mummy?" he asks as he drowns his pancakes in syrup.

"Yes, baby?" Hermione looks up from her cup of tea.

"Were you happy when the Sorting Hat gave me to you?"

Hermione's face dons a confused expression and she looks at her son.

"Ah, sorry. What did you say, Scorpius?"

Scorpius groans, "I said, were you happy when the Sorting Hat gave me to you?"

Hermione pauses for a moment, before realization dawns in her eyes and she turns to glare at Draco.

"Yes, I was so happy to see that you were my baby," Hemione simpers at her son before turning to glare at Draco, "it was really a miracle that we got a baby as lovely as you from the hat."

Scorpius grins and hugs his mother before running off down a hallway.

Hermione is still staring at Draco, who is silently casting _Riddikulus _on his wife, hoping that it will make his wife look a lot more inviting and approachable.

"The Sorting Hat? Really, Draco?"

"I think it was rather quick thinking on my part." he smirks, trying to get back in her good graces.

"Quick thinking, but shoddy thinking at it's best." she shakes her head and returns to her breakfast.

"Shoddy my ass! When Scorpius gets into Slytherin, you'll realize the Sorting Hat quip worked well."

"Alright, okay." Hermione takes a sip of tea before muttering, "I think you mean when he gets into Gryffindor though."

**a/n;**

**I was supposed to be doing prompts, but this idea haunted me so I had to write it down. Awkward father Draco gives me life.**

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!**


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